more than a paycheck

One morning, I was driving my Toyota Avanza company car along South Luzon Expressway, when it hit me.

I’m going to work only for the paycheck, knowing that it’s the same conveyor belt everyday, every week, every month, every year. With the same performance metrics, not producing what I was actually hired to do. With the same family expectations and pressures for rent, bills, expenses, tuition fees, and other obligations.
Regular programming. Was that really all to life?

At work, I was hired to follow status quo, not be a leader.
At home, I was merely a workhorse, not a man of the house.

Yet, when I introduced good ideas and produced solid strategies and plans, they were not valued nor taken seriously. My roles were simply to follow orders from top management. I concluded that they wanted me to embrace their systems even if it led to failure. I was set up to fail, but I was obligated to produce no matter the sacrifice.

The paycheck I collected from my job fulfilled the desires of my family, while neglecting my own needs and desires as a man, a father, a human being.

It’s transactional. And I was supposed to be satisfied with that.